1. |
White Hot
02:46
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Once upon a time I fell out of a window
Didn't break anything but landed on blacktop
And it was quite hot
Stunned into silence, the gravity of all the
Gravity hit me at once, and I laid there
Freshly-flayed skin cooking up on the pavement
But the burns weren't bad enough to take my mind off of you
My cheeks burn brighter than parking lots on summer afternoons
When you live in my skull, it's calm and as cool as the moon
Once I had a dream where I met you in person
I saw your face and I burst into flames on the spot
Glowing white hot
Quick camera cuts after lights, camera, action
And my lips touched yours in melodrama fashion
Ice screaming wistfully, steaming in envy
As looker-ons marvel at the concept of being so warm
I think I'm supposed to be holding you tight in my arms
But all I've got now's a cold pack as a bump on my knee starts to form
I suppose that's what I get
For wasting so much time thinking on those who won't love me back
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2. |
We Could Die Tomorrow
02:56
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I could die tomorrow, so could you
We have so little time, so much to do
So I will stop wasting it by telling lies,
Saying I don't need you by my side
It's a race to find the right words to say
There's only so many minutes in a day
So will you tell me how you feel tonight?
I gotta make it count, I gotta say this right
I doubt I will die with no regrets
But I won't have much left if I can help it
So I'll be giving all I've got to give
Who knows how many days are left to live?
So can we lower down our walls
And start answering each other's calls?
There's so little time in life, but so much to do
That I don't want to spend another single minute wasted without you
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3. |
See You Around
04:09
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Rip my heart out and bury me deep underground
Leave me here floating in a world where there is no more sound
Lock the door behind you and throw out the key; and if you somehow find your way back to me
Know that I'll still be here for you should you fall back down
Locked in a cage
Floating away
Maybe it's better for both of us if I stay
Locked in a cage
Til some brighter day
Baby it's better for both of us, you'll be okay
Rip my heart out and bury me deep underground
Leave me here til I breathe in and no air comes back out
Lock the door behind you and swallow the key; ignore all the things that remind you of me
You're better off, I don't think that you need me around
Locked in a cage
Floating away
Maybe it's better for both of us if I stay
Locked in a cage
I won't ruin your day
Baby it's better for you if I just stay away
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4. |
Background
02:53
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I'm sorry if I've made you feel bad through the songs I sing
It's just a way to help me feel better
I know my voice is something you may not want to hear, and it's okay
'Cause I was born to be a singer
In the background (Background)
I'm just a silhouette in the background
(You may think so, but to me,)
I'm just an obstacle in the background
(You're right up front where I can see,)
I'm sorry but I can't hear you in the background
(You're not in the background)
I've fallen down so many times, it's getting harder to get back up
But at least I'm not a bleeder
'Cause I'm so quiet and I'm so squeamish, and I'm afraid of the front lines
So I retreat, 'cause I'm a follower, not a leader
Stuck in the background (Background)
I'm just a burden in the background
(I know it's hard, but you've got to believe)
Just something negligible in the background
(Please understand how much you matter to me)
Oh god, I wish that I could hear you from the background
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5. |
Waves
03:05
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Over the summer, I met you, we bonded
Despite better judgement, I knew what I wanted
There was no way in hell that this could be wrong
I kissed you in the rain right in front of your mom
But that feeling faded like your scent on my t-shirt
Rolling under ocean waves rolling over my body
Hands-free
Floating
Out to sea
Out of reach, out of sight, out of mind, how I try
To forget you
But no matter what I do to get you out of my brain,
There's a thousand people and places that share your name
And every now and again I'll reflect on a positive memory
And I'll miss the you you were before you did this to me
But that feeling faded like your scent on my sweater
Rolling under ocean waves oh how I try not to love her
Stay under
The covers
Discover
Another to share this summer with at the marina
And forget you
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6. |
Hit Me
03:16
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Calluses cover the fractures of these broken bones
Soot-spewing volcano vomits on all our old homes
Every time I ask you to come out to a new show
You take out a new somebody, you can't be alone
Exhaling desperately, quietly over counter tops
Polishing apples and Apple-branded Pandora's box
With rags I recently rescued from strip mall window shops
Waiting with baited breath for answers I hope never stop
You said you cry too much, too much
I said I can never cry when I want to
Nothing hits me hard anymore
God damn, kick me in the face please
Apply the pressure til your suede blades break my skin
God damn, I said, keep me in agony
God damn, pull a little harder please
Put on the top shelf, put another in
God damn, I said, keep me down on my knees
Hot melty mess of a figurine figure afterglow
Volcano goes haywire trampling down friend and foe
Delightful canvas of thighs of stallion and eyes of doe
Liberating yet suffocating with no room to grow
Worn-up and worn-out, the friction is keeping me awake
If I'm a liar then lying is half of my mistake
And as we're lying I'm dreaming of my next step to take
I'd rather walk 'cause if I drive I'll hit the heart brakes
You said you drank too much, too much
I said I can never drink enough
Nothing hits me hard anymore
God damn, kick me in the face please
Apply the pressure til your suede blades break my skin
God damn, I said, keep me in agony
God damn, pull a little harder please
Put on the top shelf, play another game
God damn, I said, god damn
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7. |
Interlude
00:59
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8. |
Ruffle
02:24
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You couldn't save yourself
And I wonder if I could have if only I were someone else
You smelled like home
And ever since you disappeared I haven't been too sure of where to go
I float between new worlds so often
But they're so big and scary and I'm afraid of the land that I'll get lost in
You couldn't save yourself
I couldn't save my friend, I was not good enough, so I'll pretend to be someone else
You couldn't save yourself
And I wonder if I could have if only I were someone else
You smelled like home
And ever since you disappeared I haven't been too sure of where to go
I dyed my hair, I changed my name
I paint myself in tattoos hoping that the art is worth the pain
I stay up late, I say your name
I'd hoped that changing who I was would help but I still feel the same
If I couldn't save you
Who was supposed to?
If I couldn't save you
How could I ever save myself?
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9. |
Leaving
04:08
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I'm trying so hard to believe
That god still has a plan for me
But I'm starting to suffocate
There's no space in my head for my mind to breathe
I don't think that I am homesick
But what else could I call it?
I'm nauseous but my stomach's empty
I'd eat but I'm scared I'll just vomit
I think I might feel better if I cried
But it's been so long, the well has run dry
I can't remember anything but alone now
I blink twice and the day goes by
I haven't done anything with my life
Since college except for sleep
I spend over half my day in bed
I've had nothing but a nap for dinner all week
Been seeking some sort of catharsis
Luck has it that I haven't found it
I bottle it up and soon my cork will pop
There's no other way around it
I think I might feel better if I cried
But nothing comes out no matter how hard I try
I've been aching for so long it's a norm now
I'm not afraid to die
I'll be leaving soon, so please hold the door
I can't feel anything anymore
I wasn't built for long-term sustainment
Please bury next to the ostrich fern
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10. |
Glimmer
04:57
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I know what a drag it is to have me around
I still have to deal with me even when we're not hanging out
And I want to kick me when I'm down and push myself away as much as you do
'Cause I'm not good enough for anyone, apparently especially not you
You must be having it hard for me to bring you solace
It must be killing you to exist to find comfort in this
What do I do for you?
It's a yes or no question, am I helping? Am I just a bother?
You seem to be trying to fill a hole in your heart with a superficial lover
If it's working, I promise to stay, I'll stay to help you
I care too much about you to care about being used
And I fucking know that I am; with what we have, how could I not?
Though you'll tell me you love me, when close your eyes at night I know that I'm not in your thoughts
But I've learned to deal with the feeling, it's nothing new
And I'll pretend that this is working, 'cause I can't help but love you
It's hard to look at you and see no sparkle in your eye
The way your reflection glimmers back at you from mine
I won't hold onto you if you don't want to be held
I'll let you go when you decide to leave just like everyone else
"Do you still care about me after you've came and gone home?"
You look me in the eye and sigh and say you just don't know
How could you not know?
It's a yes or no question, do you love me? I'm wearing thin
You don't seem to be bothered when denying me answers, you don't see the shape I'm in
I feel you slipping away, I ask if you ever cared, and if you ever can again
You look me in the eye and say, "You're not him"
I fucking know that already, do you think I don't? What else is there I can say?
And I shouldn't be the sorry one but I am and I still hope that you will get to hold his hand again someday
Because I love you, and I'm not selfish; I don't know how to be
I'll keep feeling guilty that you have to settle for lying next to me
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11. |
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[Mikey]
What doesn't kill you makes you awkward at parties
Well I'm sick of being invincible
I just wanna be the one you brush over instantly
On your two-person journey towards the backseat
I just want to be that ever-growing sigh of relief
Let me be the scars that are glued to your body
That reminder to keep drinking
That reminder to keep drinking
Let me be the single spring
That keeps you tossing and turning
In your bed at night
[Jeremy]
What doesn't kill you makes you awkward at parties
Well I'm sick of being invisible
I just wanna be the one you text at 3 AM
Even if you're just bored, at least you're thinking of me
I think I just might want to sign up for tryouts
An excuse to hang out, an excuse to make out
Excuses for myself to leave
Excuse me, man, I gotta leave
Let me be the single thought
That keeps you wide awake at night
The same way you do to me
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12. |
Please, No More
06:06
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Last time I saw you was this time last year, autumn season
I remember you told me, but didn't remember the reason
Why you went that way, that is to say, I miss you
Three hundred and forty days later, it looks like I still do
You feared that everyone you loved would leave you
But you don't love me so I guess that's why I stay
'Cause we both know that I can't help but love you
I would do anything to make these feelings go away
Because it hurts just the same
As it did on that day
I feel it over and over every minute I'm sober
So I drink to numb the pain
I can't sleep in our bed
So I bought a new couch instead
And as I roll over and over every night on the sofa
With my eyes closed I relive the ache
I relive the morning after you went away
Come back home
Please, don't go
[Monologue:
"& know that each morning, upon dawn's silent break,
when meek shafts of sunlight breech your dew-masked window pane
and the airy shimmer of dancing rays playfully rolls across your cheek,
the warmth of the glow of the light of day
tenderly wrests you from slumber,
that this warmth is the personified likeness of my affection;
would that i were able to deliver them unto you,
that this delicate light is the kiss on your cheek
& that this ardent warmth is an impassioned embrace -
a ghost that greets you a fervent good morning as you rise -
for just as we rest under the same moon,
we too awaken under the same sun -
a cycle as timeless and eternal as my love.
so when you wake,
smile
& know the sunlight is here to keep you safe."]
It still hurts just the same
As it did on that day
As I listen to The Shins and the sound of the wind
If I close my eyes tight enough and believe
And I lay in our bed
I can try to pretend
You're still here with me, until I can fall asleep
And it can be like it was in my dreams
Like it was before you told me you would leave
Come back home
Please, no more
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Papercut Pinkies Niagara Falls, New York
All my music will be always be free to download, but all donations will be accepted and put towards making new, better music!
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